Evelyn Meets Sofia

Evelyn met her cousin, Sofia, today. She was interested in the little babe but not jealous when I held her. Funny girls.

Pool party pics

Evelyn hosted her first pool party. Shayla and Alice came with moms (and grandma) in tow.
Needless to say Evy loved having friends over and she learned a lot from them. Her favorite toy is now the lid to a cookie jar that she and Shayla fought over.

Here are some pics of the party.



The girls havin' fun



Shayla tries to climb into the ducky pool


Alice hangs out with the "big girls" while the babies splash in the pool

One year ago...

I hope you guys are not tired of the whole "One year ago" thing. I learned with the lose of Leo that one year milestones are very important. It is as if healing can not begin until you reach the "One year ago" mark. These anniversaries force you to remember, the memory releases the pressure of your grief. Without this pressure you can look toward the future for a brief second and you begin to heal.

And so with Evelyn I am doing it again. One year ago we were in the middle of a birth crisis. We were the parents of an extreme preemie. Early on in Evy life I found a website which sales clothes for micro preemies. I could not resist. I bought a dress and hat. I took them to the hospital and there they sat. Weeks went by but her health was not good enough to allow dressing her. She was so fragile she would crash getting her diaper changed. All the other babies in her room were bigger and stronger. They were dressed. In my mind the dress came to represent all my hopes and wishes for Evelyn and our future together. Plus it was really cute.

So one year ago yeasterday I went to the NICU and asked the nurse if Evy was ready. She said yes and I dressed her.



This is one of my favorite memories. But looking at the picture now it is hard not to cry. Even on the best of days having a baby in the NICU is tough.

Yesterday I marked the anniversary by taking the dress out of storage and putting it on one of Evelyn's dolls. It was a important ritual. Someday I will show Evelyn the dress and try to explain to her how small she was and how hard she had to fight to be able to wear it. I want that day to be all about Evy and her tremendous spirit, not about old ghosts in my head. I needed to demystify the dress. For it is just a dress.

To that end I dressed dolly and I dressed Evy and got some great pics of them together.




This is my favorite.

Yeaterday I remembered, released the pressure of grief, and looked toward the future. Today the healing begins.

Finger Food

Evy chews on a cleaned chicken bone

Evelyn is now old enough to want to eat all her meals by herself. Thanks but I will take that spoon mom. Problem is she does not get all the food from her tray into her mouth. A lot ends up on the bib, chair and floor (the floor for only a few seconds as the wienie dog cleans it up prompt!). So we compromise. She gets what we eat, chopped into bits on her tray with her own spoon, and I get to feed her from a jar. It is all good.

The secret to feeding a babe without teeth a "grown-up meal" is to overcook it so everything is mushy; meat, veggies, everything. As I hate mushy I usually cook the adult food to al dente, and then microwave Evy's portion for a minute or so. Another way to get mushy is to make it into a casserole, these are by nature mushy. For example, Cook pasta and brown meat. Mix in casserole dish with favorite pasta sauce, garlic and other spices to taste. Cook at 400 degrees for 30 mins. If not mushy enough, microwave for a minute or so.

I also cook just for her. Here are two of her favorite recipes:

Babies Tuna Casserole

Cook 1/8 cup macaroni until soft. Drain. Mix with

1 tbs tuna
1/2 stick of string cheese cut into small pieces
dab of butter or splash of olive oil
sminch of lemon pepper

Serve with 1 jar peas baby food and two spoons

Babies Broccoli Beef

Cook 1/8 cup rice until soft.

Steam broccoli and carrots until soft. Cut into small pieces.

Mix rice and veggies with a splash of olive oil and a sminch of lemon pepper.

Serve with a jar of beef baby food and two spoons

Enjoying the summer

Well I have to say this post has been a long time coming. My only excuse is that it is summer and Evy and I are finally in good enough health to get out and enjoy it. Our favorite spot is the Murray Pool. It is great. But on lazy days we head to the back yard to have fun eating Popsicles and splashing in the kiddie pool.



Boy it is good to relax and enjoy being Evy's mom. It seems we have been struggling so hard for so long. It is nice to just sit in the sun and have fun with my little one.

As for an update on her eye. We go see the doc later this week. I do know that she survived the surgery even though she had a bad reaction to the morphine and had to be put on a ventilator. Also, she did not get an infection. Now we just have to wait and see. The doctor might want us to patch the good eye again. More in this later.


Evy two days after eye muscle surgery.