Monday, May 11, 2009

Mother's Day Past and Present

Nate and I lost our son in January 2000. He was born at 19 weeks gestation. He lived for 30 minutes. We named him Leo because his little heart beat so strong. We were devastated by his death. I have dreaded Mother's Day ever since. No other holiday/event hurt as bad. In our culture we do not get credit for our relationship with the dead. I always felt my struggle back from deep grief and my continued willingness to try and conceive again spoke a lot about my motherhood. But they do not make a card for these. I lived through eight Mother's Days in this "maternal limbo", so you can imagine the relief I felt this year to be "mom" to my beautiful little Evelyn. Thank you Evy for giving your mother the best present of all. You!

Mom got to celebrate the day with Evelyn's first professional pictures. My present was a day shopping for the right outfit and of course the fun of getting her to smile. Hope you enjoy them as I do.


1 comment:

Heather said...

I love the pics! Evy is so photogenic and has many fun looks!

P.S. I'm so happy for your Mother's Day gift. You amaze me with your insights on what you've been through. I think you could totally write a book about it all and it could help others who have felt the same emotions you have.